FLASH FICTION THAT WENT WRONG...help?

OK -- the new site is still very much a work in progress... So in the interest of giving people a reason to come here, I'm posting a piece of FLASH FICTION I wrote a few months ago. I happen to think it's funny, but so far, no one else has. Hope it amuses you! But more than that, feel free to comment freely on it. All obnoxious comments will be deleted.

I've been teaching writing to gifted and talented "kids" for 28 years. Some of them have gone on to become published authors. Comments intended to HELP will be carefully included. If the story DOES sell, I'll make sure there's a character with your name on  them.

March 2024

“A HUMAN, A DOLPHIN, AN ELEPHANT, AN OCTOPUS, AND A CROW WALK INTO A ROOM…”

by Guy Stewart

Human, Dolphin, Elephant, Octopus, and Crow found themselves in a room together. They all knew in the way that made sense to them, that each of them had been certified Sapient.

They also knew that they had some things to say to each other.

The Human assumed he would start, but as he opened his mouth, the Elephant lay her trunk on his shoulder. In her tank, the Dolphin stuck her head above water and laughed her “air-laugh”. It’s what Humans expected to hear from her kind. That was fine. It saved trying to explain that the sound was more complex than what Humans could hear and it was less amusement than sarcastic comment, and was in a frequency the Human couldn’t detect.

Beneath her tank, the ground suddenly began to groan, almost as if the Earth was about to shake. She located its origin beneath Elephant’s feet. Across the room from the tank, Crow leaped into the air, fluttering their wings. They spoke, but only some of the words were in a frequency she could hear. It was like denser cold-water currents laced the warm water, cutting across Crow’s voice, muddying it. She knew Crow was speaking in some language. That much was certain only because Dolphin heard patterns in the sounds that made it into her tank. For that matter, the deeper sounds coming up from the ground also made patterns that she couldn’t recognize, but obviously carried information.

For an instant, the room plunged into darkness. Inside the Octopus tank, its skin began to ripple with flashes of color. Dolphin only saw the deeper blues of the ocean, so missed as much of Octopus’ words as she’d missed of Elephant’s. But Human turned abruptly, squatting in front of Octopus’ tank. After a moment, he began to tap on the tank glass with hard blades on the tips of his fingers. Dolphin knew those blades! Once she had met a Human that drew them lightly across her skin! She trembled with remembered pleasure.

Octopus eased across the tank, bringing as many suckers as close as he/she could squeeze them to where the Human was tapping some sort of pattern that was clearly Sapient – but completely incomprehensible.

Elephant made one noise both high pitch and ground shaking. Octopus’ tank water trembled. Human startled, stepping back. Then he slapped the elephant trunk. A moment later, he reached out to the Dolphin tank and tapped once. Then he tapped once on Octopus’ tank.

Octopus pulled seven tentacles back, touching near the Human finger with one of their tentacles. Dolphin lifted her head and made a single sound that should be audible for the Human, Elephant, and Crow. Crow fluttered to the Human and landed on his shoulder. He flinched but didn’t panic. Crow pecked him on the side of his head once. The man jerked back in surprise and Crow launched themselves into the air again, this time landing on Elephant’s back.

Elephant lifted her trunk from the Human’s shoulder, then tapped Dolphin’s tank once.

The Human sighed. He knew they all understood numbers, but for some reason, he felt a visceral thrill. Dolphin shot a high energy pulse at him, and though the glass reflected most of it, she got a fuzzy image back – the Human’s internal organs had twitched and he’d taken a sudden breath, expanding his lungs. From the bottom of the tank, came a faint vibration. Across the room, she saw that Octopus felt the same thing, and Crow swept his wings out and shuddered his feathers, then made a loud squawk.

For a moment, all of them stopped moving and making noise in any frequency. A profound silence fell over the room – nothing had been said that might be inscribed in a Human History, a sonic image for Dolphin, a long memory for Elephant, a seething cloud of ink intricately design for immersion by Octopus, and squawked as song entirely different for Crow.

But History had occurred nevertheless. Not a paragraph, image, memory, ink cloud, or squawk, but a record of a profound moment nonetheless. Perhaps they would make more profound moments as their time together accumulated to hours; days; and measures of time understood only to each kind…for now.

Perhaps History had just changed.

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